JOKE # 1
Rehh Rehh Kary Mujh Ko Ek Hi Khayal Ata Hay
Woh Kambukht Na Janay Kon Say Sabun Say Nahata Hay
==========================================
JOKE # 2
Na tum chatt(terrace)par aati
Na mai deewana hota
Na tum pathar marti
Na mai kan'na hota
======================
JOKE # 3
Jo Ek Galti Karay Woh Anjan
Jo 2 Galti Karay Woh Nadan
Jo 3 Galti Karay Woh Shaitan
Jo Galtion Pay Galti Karay Woh Hindustan
Jo Har Galti Maaf Karay Woh Pakistan
=================================
JOKE # 4
Taj Mehal Ki Dewaron Per Aaj Bhi Likha Hua Hay
Yahan Thookna Mana Hay Yahan Thookna Mana Hay
======================================
JOKE # 5
Meray Marnay Kay Baad Meray Doston Yun Ansoo Na Bahana
Agar Yaad Aye To Seedhay Upar Chalay Ana
=======================================
JOKE # 6
Andheri Raat Thi, Woh Mere Saath Thi
Main Uske Upar Tha, Woh Mere Neeche Thi
Haathon Mein Haath The, Pairon Mein Per
Bura Mat Maanana Woh Meri Cycle Thi
=================================
JOKE # 7
Woh Ladki Kitni Pyaari Thi, Jis Ko Aankh Maari Thi
Woh Sendal Kitni Bhaari Thi, Jo Us Ney Sar Per Maari Thi
======================================
JOKE # 8
Wo Larayeee Hi Kya JISME DO CHAAR Gaaliyan Na Ho ...
AREY Wo SASURAAL HI Kya Jahan Koi Saali Na Ho!!
======================================
JOKE # 9
Chappal Chhoti Ho To Pair Me Nahi Aati
Biwi Moti Ho To Darwaze Me Nahi Aati
=================================
JOKE # 10
ANOTHER DEFINITION OF BHAIYA-
B- BADA
H- HANDSOM
A- AUR
I- INTELLIGENT
Y- YAAR
A- APNA
=========================
JOKE # 11
College Jaana Hai Har Haal Mei
Ladkyon Ko Phasana Hai Apne Jaal Mei.
==========================
JOKE # 12
Khush Rahe Tu Sada Yeh Dua Hai Meri
Teri Premika Hi Ban Jaaye Bhabhi Teri
============================
READ THIS FUNNY
JOKE # 13
Shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye...
=======================
JOKE # 14
Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to double-click karo...
==========================
JOKE # 15
Roz subha hum karte hain
pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekte hain
jaise 0 errors aur 5 warning...
===========================
JOKE # 16
Kal jab mile thhe
to dil mein hua ek sound.
aur aaj mile to kehte hain
your file not found!
========================
JOKE # 17
Aisa bhi nahin hai ke
I don't like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
no more disk space.
=====================
JOKE # 18
Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga...
=======================
JOKE # 19
Dil se ek ishq ki application
create kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se debug karna
mein wait kar raha hoon.
=====================
JOKE # 20
Ghar se jab tum nikale
pehen ke khobsoorat kapdee.
Jaane kitne dilon ka ho
gaya server down.
====================
JOKE # 21
Jabse meri zindagi mein,
aayi hai ik female.
Bhool gaya hai sab kuchh
kya mailbox, kya e-mail.
=========================
JOKE # 22
Tumhaare intezaar mein
neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection
time out ho gaya..
======================
JOKE # 23
Nazar mein to kia hain
aur shaayad lonely hain...
Problem yehi hai ki voh
ab read only hain...
======================
JOKE # 24
Woh jab chalti hai to raahon main 100-100 ke note
bichhaa deta hoon
Woh jab chalti hai to raahon main 100-100 ke note
bichhaa deta hoon
Uske jaane ke baad woh sab note utha leta hoon..
======================================
JOKE # 25
Tumko dekha to yeh khayaal aaya
Tumko dekha to yeh khayaal aaya
Ke kal raat maine itna kyon khaya?
====================================
JOKE # 26
Woh sadak ke is paar thi, Hum sadak key us paar the
Kuch hum aagey badhey, Kuch woh aagey badhi
Hum kuch aur aagey badhey, Woh bhi kuch aur aagey badhi
Hum kuch aur bhi aagey badhe, Woh bhi kuch aur aagey badhi
Ab hum sadak key is paar they, Aur woh sadak key us paar thi.
============================================
JOKE # 27
Aapne mere man se khela,
aapne mere tan se khela,
aapne mere dhan se khela
aapne mere tan, man, dhan se khela...
well played! well played! well played!!
====================================
JOKE # 28
Tum har raat mere khwabon mein aao,
Tum har raat mujhe yuunhi satao,
Melody khao khud jaan jao........
=============================
JOKE # 29
Dharti so rahi hai, Aasman so raha hai
Dharti so rahi hai, Aasman so raha hai
Nonsense! yeh sab kya ho raha hai?
===============================
JOKE # 30
Main hu yahan, tu hai wahan
Main hu yahan, tu hai wahan
Lifebouy hai jahan, tandurusti hai
===========================
JOKE # 31
BEFORE MARRIAGE
takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti,
tajmahal banana chahata hoon,
lekin mumtaz nahi milti.
=============================
JOKE # 32
AFTER MAGGIAGE
takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti,
tajmahal banana chahata hoon,
lekin mumtaz nahi marti.
=============================
JOKE # 33
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe pita;
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe pita;
Tan ki shakti, manki shakti, Bournvita.
tan theeta plus cos theete is equls to sin theeta
==================================
JOKE # 34
Tum aa gaye ho,
noor aa gaya hai;
chalo teeno movie dekhnay chalen.
===========================
JOKE # 35
Khud ko kar buland itnaa Ke,
Himaalay ki choti pe jaa pahunche
Aur khuda tumse puche,
Abe sale gadhe. ab utrega kaise?
==============================
JOKE # 36
Jise dil diya woh dehli chali gayi,
jise pyar kiya woh italy chali gayi;
dil ne kaha khud-kushi(suicide) kar le jalim,
bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi.
==================================
JOKE # 37
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha zindgi main,
badey joshh ke sath;
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha jindgi main,
badi shhor ke sath;
Aab hum pyar karenge badi soch ke sath,
Kyon ki usey kal shamko dekha kisi aur ke sath.
====================================
JOKE # 38
kaaash ke tere chehre par Chickenpox ke daag hote.
kaaash ke tere chehre par chickenpox ke daag hote.
chand to tu hai hi, sitaare bhee saaath hote...
=====================================
JOKE # 39
Arz kiya hai
Irshaad.Irshaad
Ladki boli:
Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi,
Mohabbat ek se hoti hai, hazaaron se nahi.
Ladka bola:
Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya.hoga,
Mohabbat agar ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga.
======================================
JOKE # 40
mainay poocha chand say
dekha hai kahin maray yaar sa haseen
chand nay kaha
saale itnay upar say dikhta hai kya
=================================
JOKE # 41
Din ko chain nahi
Raat ko aram nahi
Jee na lagay kahen
Aay khuda kya yahi pyar hai ?
Arey Pagal.. yeh pyar nahi...
Aaj ka temperature 43 degree celcius hai.
=====================================
JOKE # 42
Khuda se Scooter manga.. Car di
Apartment manga.. bangla diya
dost manga to tumhain diya..
Khuda ne is bar aisa zulm kyoun kia
When I C the moon I C U
When I C the stars I C U
When I C the Sea I C U
Get out of the way you are blocking my view
=========================================
JOKE # 43
Zindagi mein tum bohat aage jaaoo gay
kyonkay jahan bhi tum jaooge
sab kahain gay, chal be chal aagay chal.
=================================
JOKE # 44
Arz kiya hai, Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Ghanti bajainge aur bhaag jayenge!
============================================
JOKE # 45
Aahat si koi aye to lagta hai ki tum ho.
Hawa koi lehrayi to lagta hai ki tum ho.
Ab tum hi batao, kya tum kisi BHOOT se kam ho?
==================================
JOKE # 46
Maine poocha chand se..
Kabhi dekha hai mere yaar sa hasin..
Chand bola.... 12036 entries found!
==============================
JOKE # 47
Arz kiya hai, Door se dekha to sntra tha,
pass jake dekha to sntra tha
chil ke dekha to bhi sntra tha,
Khake dekha to bhi sntra tha. Wah kya sntra tha !
======================================
JOKE # 48
Jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi,
jise pyaar kiya woh Italy chali gayi.
Khudkhushi karne chala Zalim,
bijali ko haath lagaya, Bijali hi chali gayi.
===================================
JOKE # 49
Macchar ne jo kata..dil main mere junoon tha.
Khujli hui itni... dil be sukoon tha
Pakada to chod diya yeh soch kar ki..
sale ki ragon main apna hi khoon tha!
=====================================
JOKE # 50
Khuda kare tera mobile kho jaye.
Mile mujhe aur mera ho jaye.
Karu SMS ladkion ko naam tera aae.
Maar tujhe pade aur kaleja mera thanda ho jae.
======================================
JOKE # 51
Ikhtiyarre tabbasum ki lau ko tarranume numayish se aghaa dena...
Jo iska matlab samajh aaye to please mujhe bhi bata dena...
======================================================
JOKE # 52
jawani key din chamkile ho gaye
aur husn ke tewar nukiley ho gaye
hum izhaar karne me thode dhiile ho gaye
aur unke haath peele ho gaye
=============================
FUNNY SHAYRIS!
JOKE # 53
Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!
**************************************
JOKE # 54
Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum...
************************************
JOKE # 55
Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..
*************************************
br>JOKE # 56
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama Mama kehke bulaate hain:)
*********************************
JOKE # 58
Woh hamari gali me aaye...
Woh hamari gali me aaye...
Woh hamari gali me aaye...
Aur chillake bole.....
Paper Raddi wala !!!
*****************************
JOKE # 59
Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de
****************************
JOKE # 60
jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai:)
*****************************************
JOKE # 61
Teray husn ki kya taarif karoo,
tera bander jaisa hai moo
Teri zulfo ki kya taarif karoo,
teray ek ek baal pe hai joo
****************************
JOKE # 62
Hathi nay kaha ja kar hathni ki kabar per
Sadqey jaoon tumhari patli kamar per
***********************************
JOKE # 63
Mainay poocha chand say
dekha hai kahin maray yaar sa haseen
chand nay kaha
saale itnay upar say dikhta hai kya
********************************
JOKE # 64
Zindagi mein tum bohat aage jaaoo gay
kyonkay jahan bhi tum jaooge
sab kahain gay, chal be chal aagay chal.
***********************************
JOKE # 65
Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho..
itna kaatil kaise sharma lete ho..
kitni aasani se JAAN le lete ho..
kisine sikhaya hai ya bachpan se hi kamine ho!!
********************************************
JOKE # 66
Aaj didar, kal yaar, parso pyar, phir ekrar,
aur phir-intzar, phir-takrar, phir-darar,
saari mehnat-bekar,
aur akhir mein-Ek aur devdas at beer bar !
***********************************
JOKE # 68
Osama Bin Laden's favourite song :
"mainnikla, plane leke, o raste mein, newyork mein,
ik mod ayamein W.T.C. tod aaya... "
**********************************************
JOKE # 69
unki gali se guzar rahe the kya ittefaq tha,
unki gali se guzar rahe the kya ittefaq tha,
unhoon ne phool phainka par gamla bhi saath tha !
******************************************
JOKE # 70
Katal karna hai to khanjer sey karo,
Talwaar main kya rakha hai,
Ishq kerna hai to KHUDA sey karo,
Larkiyon main kya rakha hai....!
************************************
JOKE # 71
Phooloun key baagh main mera intezar kerna,
Main na aaoun to ghadey sey pyaar kerna...!
***************************************
JOKE # 72
Chat pati haleem main leemu nichor doun,
Dil to chahta hai tera mu tod doun....!
************************************
JOKE # 73
PROMISE ME WE ARE TRUE FRIENDS!
I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey...PoOoOoH!!!
*********************************
JOKE # 74
You r my sweet SONA
I don't want u 2 KHONA
I want a place in your heart's KONA
Otherwise i will start RONA
Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA
***************************
JOKE # 75
TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
E-mail KARNE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!
****************************
JOKE # 76
Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jayu vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum...
*******************************
JOKE # 77
Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain
Tum bin hum bohat akele hain
Sab kuch chod kar tumeh e-mail karte hain
Dekho hum kitne vele hain
>> * vele = lazy (vele is a Punjabi word)
***********************************
JOKE # 78
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii....
Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!
*********************************
JOKE # 79
Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain....
waaaaahhhhhhhhh...
************************************
JOKE # 80
Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..
*******************************
JOKE # 81
Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi...
**************************************
JOKE # 82
Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!
********************************************
JOKE # 83
Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi
***************************
JOKE # 84
tumko dekha....to yeh khayal aaya
paaglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya!
*******************************
JOKE # 86
Idhar khuda hai, udar khuda hai,
jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
jidhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
jidhar nahi khuda hai....udhar kal khudaaega!
**************************************
JOKE # 87
Tumsa koi dusara jameen par hua
to rab se sikayat hogi....
Ek to jhella nahi jata
dusra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!
*****************************
JOKE # 88
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko...
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko...
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko...
abe aage bhi to bol.........
neuclear ka Zamaana hai, bomb se udaa do saale ko....!!!
*****************************************
JOKE # 89
Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga,
ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga...
pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun..
phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga!!!
**************************************
JOKE # 90
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya.
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya.
Tumhari saheli ko dekha to doosra khyal aaya!!
****************************************
JOKE # 91
Har desh ki ek sarhadd hoti hai
bache ki bhi ek jidd hote hai
aur kitna intzaar karru tere sms ka
Kanjosi ki bhi koi hadd hoti hai
***************************
JOKE # 92
Jab Jab hume pyaas lagti hai,
Unke aane ki aas lagti hai
unki dewangi mein hum ho gaye itne dewane
Ki har ladki ki maa apni saas lagti hai
*******************************
JOKE # 93
Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi...
***********************************
JOKE # 94
Aap jaise log hume kuch khas lagte hai.
mann me har waqt hum ek aas rakte hai,
jaane kab aa jaye sms aapka
is liye cell ko dil ke pass rakte hai
*****************************
JOKE # 95
Muskura do jara khuda ke vaste,
sama-e-mahefil mai rosni kam hai,
tum hamare nahi to kya gum hai,
hum tumhare to haiN ye kya kam hai?
********************************
JOKE # 96
Tere pyaar ki roshni aisi hai ki
har taraf ujaala nazar aata hai
sochta hoon ki ghar ki bijli katwa du
kambaqt bill bohat aata hai
*******************************
JOKE # 97
Tum hoti to aisa hota,
tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti,
tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,
tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!
**********************
Sadak per sab kaheN kya cute ho,
Bhir me sab kaheN side ho, side ho,
Pindi, Islamabad ya Peshawar ki paidaish ho,
Sas ki khidmat jiski khwahish ho
Aisi apni Wife ho.
Padosi jab baat karay to haath me knife ho,
Dinner ke waqt candle light ho,
Ham me tum me kabhi na koi fight ho,
Milnay ke baad dil delight ho,
Aise apni Wife ho.
***********************************
JOKE # 99
main gosht laynay ja raha tha
wo college say arahi thi
chand say chehray par lutt lehra rahi thi
aaj to wo sab say alag nazar arahi thi
nazar say nazar mila rahi thi
aur dhemay say muskura rahi thi
chand lamhon ki mulaqat main
janay kya kya sapnay dikha rahi thi
kareeb say guzri to bard bard aarahi thi
main yeh samjha wo apna phone no pukar rahi thi
janay kya tha us ki ankhon main
zindagi haseen honay ka ehsaas dila rahi thi
jatay jatay main nay kuch khehna tha
dakha to wo phehlay say hath hila rahi thi
khush fehmi main mubtala ho gaya main
goar say dakha to wo apni abbu ko bula rahi thi
**************************************
JOKE # 100
*************************************
*"YEH STUDENT KI PAHCHAAN HAI" *
*-_=+-_=+-_=+-_=+-_=+-_=+-_=+-_=+ *
*************************************
*************************************
Yeh Student Ki pehchan Hai
Hath main Cigrette Moo Main pan hai
MaShoor yeh Shaitan hai
Yeh Student Ki pehchan Hai
Parhna iSey aata nahi
ClaSS kabhi jata nahi
Canteen iS ki jaan hai
Yeh Student Ki pehchan Hai
JalSon main Sab Se aagey hain
Naron main Sab Se aagey hain
Imtehaan main naqal iS ki aan hai
Yeh Student Ki pehchan Hai
Larkiyon ke peechey hai Para
Jo larki ghuSSa ho zara
Tab yeh banta Bhai jaan hai
Yeh Student Ki pehchan Hai!
